Tag Archives: mystery

Dang Trolls

“Okay, so why do trolls like to live under bridges anyway?” Kevin asked as the squad car drove them away from the homeless shelter.  Brigitte, the person in charge of the shelter, had told them that Fraaphknot lived under the Brooklyn Bridge.

“Honestly,” Atheara said, unwrapping another chocolate bar, “I never gave it any thought.”  Twisting up her face, the fairy lost herself in deep thought, “They aren’t that sharp, maybe they like it under there.”

“It’s not just a stereotype?” Kevin asked.

Taking a bite of her chocolate bar, the fairy shook her head, “Mmm … nope.  Every one I’ve known lived under a bridge.”  She was glowing green that day and shaking her head cast off a scattering of golden, glittering mystical particles.

Blowing off some of the particles that landed on him, Kevin switched mental gears, “Are these things like fairy dandruff or something?”

The car came to a stop by the bridge and the doors opened for them as Atheara answered, “Uh nooo!  But if you mix them with fruit juice they’ll turn you into a frog … or is it a giraffe?”

Her face twisted up again, “Manatee?”

Shaking his head, Kevin climbed out and cast a look around the underside of the bridge.  Fraaphknot wasn’t hard to find among the homeless.  At over eight feet tall, as broad as a house and with ashen skin, he stood out worse than a manatee at a masquerade party.

Sitting against one of the Brooklyn Bridge supports in a flannel vest and blue jeans, he was scratching a mongrel dog behind the ears.  He seemed strangely gentle although somewhat disconnected.  The scratching was absent-minded.  Had he been any other race, Kevin would have assumed he was deep in thought.  But trolls didn’t have deep thoughts … did they?

“Fraaphknot?” Kevin asked, approaching the huge beast.

The troll looked up at him with his beady red eyes and blinked.

“We need to ask you a few questions about London if you don’t mind,” Kevin started, but the troll shook his head.

“Look, we just need to …”

The troll shook his head again, “Am I under arrest?”

“No, but are you aware ..?” Kevin started, but the troll cut him off.

“I don’t talk to cops without a lawyer,” Fraaphknot said through his tusks  and continued scratching the dog.

“Look,” Atheara stepped in, “You’re not a suspect, not under suspicion …”

Fraaphknot shook his head again.

“Come on,” Kevin groaned, grabbing Atheara by the shoulder, “Leave him here.”

“Hold on,” Atheara tapped the PC on her wrist.  Quickly she began scanning the holographic text that appeared in front of her.

“Honorable discharge huh?” she nodded.

The troll just blinked.

“But they wouldn’t let you re-sign huh?  Section Eight?” she smiled.

“You can drag up whatever you want …” Fraaphknot started to say, but the young detective cut him off.

“So you were kicked out for mental issues, your boss and a guy you fought came up dead,” she noted, raising one eyebrow.   “But why would you kill the dwarf?”

Fraaphknot likewise raised one eyebrow, “What dwarf?”

Kevin stepped forward, “That has your attention?  Why would Dwaldin Vtharth get your attention?”

“The jeweler right?” the massive troll pulled himself up.

“So you do know something,” Kevin smiled.

“Aye,” the beast swatted at Atheara’s hologram, causing it to warble and distort.  “You detectives suck.  Come on.”

The big troll pushed past as Atheara spoke up, “Wait, what …”

Stopping, he looked over his shoulder at the police, “A jeweler is killed.  A lost key is stolen.  A security company owner is killed.”

“How do you know about the key?” Kevin started, but quickly knew it was a stupid question.

“The news jackass,” Fraaphknot groaned.  “Now come on, we don’t have long.”

“Before what?  Where are we going?” Atheara asked, quickly gliding to the troll’s side.

“The House of Lords,” the troll explained.

In the year 2019, a musician and actress who went by the name of Traci Lords had gained prominence by becoming the Senator for the state of California.  At the age of fifty-eight, she had become President.  The former pornographic star turned trance musician was voted into two terms before popular vote put her back in office for two additional terms.  In an unprecedented move, she turned down a fifth vote so she could focus on peace in the Middle East.  In what became known as the Middle East Unification Treaty, she had managed to bring all the feuding countries together under an umbrella of mutual assistance.  The Middle East Unification Treaty was the start of what later became known as the Century of Peace; one-hundred-fifty years with no territorial wars, police actions or skirmishes.  She had died at the ripe age of ninety-seven, a legendary world leader and humanitarian.

Then started the worship.  Her media quotes were used as gospels, the club music she had written was used in churches devoted to her and her effigy became a symbol of peace.  Even the pornographic videos she had been in when she was underage were re-released as holy objects.  By the year 3000, the House of Lords was the most prominent religion in the world.

“That place weirds me out,” Kevin mumbled.

Fraaphknot stopped by the car, an amused look on his dull face.  There wasn’t a shoe-horn big enough to pry him into the little vehicle.

“Why?” he asked.

“It always seemed like I was just going to a dance club,” Kevin explained, catching up to the big troll, “Just with prayers.”

Snorting, the troll chuckled, “You might want to say one now … it’s about to get real ugly.”

 

I’ve been listening to way to much Traci Lords on my “I Heart Radio” stations.  It’s weird how much of her music has found its way into popular culture without people knowing she even did music … thus the idea for the House of Lords.

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Dang Cameo Appearances

Kevin looked up at the power plant.  Soaring hundreds of feet above the city, the floating island provided power for the entire state of New York.  It was an amazing site.  Waterfalls of pure green energy fell from the island, splashing down into the reactors on the ground, generating power from both the kinetic and mystical energies of the rivers.

“Uh, Kevin,” Atheara mumbled next to him.

No.  There was no more chocolate.  She had eaten it all.  All of it.  Every bit of freakin’ chocolate in the whole state of New York!

“Yeah,” the detective replied.

“You know our ogre?”

“Yeah,” Kevin chuckled, “The one that got his butt whooped by the troll?  Man that was one hell of a fight.”

“He’s dead,” the fairy responded matter-of-factly.

The platform on which they were standing began to lift them up to the power plant, “Dead!?  How?  That troll didn’t beat him that bad.”

“Well, see … same as our dwarf,” Atheara moved the reports around on the holographic image in front of her.  “The gore-bots found that our dwarf died of loss of blood to the brain.  His heart stopped for no reason.  Curse scans have come up empty.  Our ogre is the same.  He just kicked over in the jail.”

The platform stopped and they stepped off in front of a skinny young man with nervous hair, “Hello detectives,” he said while handing Kevin a pair of headphones.

“You’ll be needing those sir,” the young man tapped his own set, “Matching pair.”

“Okay, so let’s see the victim here,” Kevin nodded.

“Yeah, sure,” the young man nodded, leading them toward the interior of the power plant.

As they passed several uniformed police officers directing gore-bots and talking with workers, Kevin had to pause momentarily to look at the heart of the plant.  There, in the center, were four blue columns of gleaming mystical energy.  Drifting happily around the columns were the most beautiful women Kevin had ever seen.  They sang into golden cones toward the columns and as their voices struck the energy, glowing gold and silver symbols appeared in the viscous ether.  The symbols would then dissolve, leaving the energy green and ready for processing.

It was amazing.

The music their voices created was enchanting, enticing and more lovely than any sound Kevin had ever heard … even with the earmuffs.  It was no wonder sailors would sail to their deaths hearing their songs.  Leaning on the rail, watching the enchantresses sing to the energy, the detective noticed something just down the rail from him.

“Oh that’s soooo cute!” Atheara gasped.

Two miniature dragons sat on the railing, watching the sirens.  One was purple with golden antler-like horns and the other was pink with silvery horns.  Their tails were intertwined and they were watching the women with the same interest people would watch opera singers.

“Leave ’em alone Atheara,” Kevin snickered.  He felt a case of diabetes developing from how sweet the sight was.

“So our victim ..?” Kevin asked.

“Security contractor,” the nervous man answered.  “We hired him to make sure our security was up to snuff.  Then he just … died.”

Stopping by the crime scene, Kevin knelt by the body of a tall, white-haired man, “Got anything Atheara?”

Looking at the hologram projecting from the PC on her wrist, she shuffled a few files around, “London McCray.  Owner of Immovable Wall Security.  They provide security systems and personnel to …”

“Personnel?” Kevin asked, blinking.  Like rent-a-cops?

“Already on it …” the fairy said smiling.

Grabbing a gore-bot that drifted by, Kevin checked its preliminary findings.  Same as before, no sign of injury.  London had simply died.

“Fraaphknot works for Immovable Wall Security,” Atheara noted.

Kevin stood up, dusting himself off, “But I can’t believe that troll is smart enough to figure out how to kill someone without pounding them into goo.”  The singing of the women in the back was distracting.

“No, but he knew this victim,” Atheara said, shaking a scattering of pink particles out of her hair.

Singing … singing …

That was it!

“Atheara,” Kevin grabbed her, “Check if the ogre had a PC.  Then have them check the records, but warn them not to listen to anything.”

“Why?” the fairy closed her holograms with a confused look.

“I need to know where all the registered banshees are in the city,” Kevin responded, quickly heading back to the lift.  “But I’m still missing a motive …”

Why would someone kill a dwarven jeweler, a security business owner and a big ogre with a long rap sheet?  The only connection was the troll who worked for the security company and who beat up the ogre.  But that didn’t explain the jeweler … how did it all fit together?

“Hey, let’s stop at the Stop-and-Rob on the way back,” Atheara said as they climbed into the squad car.  “I need some chocolate.”

Dang fairies.


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