Happy Thursday! Today I’m featuring Charlene who won our little “Can you guess the Princess Bride quote” question.
“Just grab the stuff and let’s get out of here!” whispered Gary.
“Just … ” Mike responded, “There’s so many damn wires back here!”
Gary looked out the window. She was still out in the garden. She was always out in the garden. Once her husband left for work in the morning, she would putter about in their rather impressive garden for hours.
“Grab ’em all!” Gary whispered again.
It was too easy. A woman at home alone in the middle of absolutely nowhere, hours from anywhere and a house full of electronics. There wouldn’t be any decent witnesses and nobody to say they were even in the area. Of course, they hadn’t noticed the ceremony plates, crow’s feathers and other ritual tools until they broke in …
Gary looked back out the window to be sure the woman was still in the garden. But instead, there was a goat. A small goat was looking in the window at him, its oddly yellow and square eyes watching him intently.
“Uh Mike?” Gary stammered, watching the goat closely.
“What!?” Mike snapped.
“We got a goat here,” Gary picked up his baseball cap and scratched his head.
Mike stopped what he was doing, “A goat? Really?” he asked sarcastically.
“It’s looking at me Mike,” Gary said, unsettled by the continuous stare of the goat.
Looking up, Mike noticed another goat looking in the other window. Like the first, it was watching them intently.
“Just a goat dude,” Mike said, going back to unplugging the computers. The guy that lived there had wires going everywhere and computers that most people would pay good money to get.
Gary looked at the new goat, “Dude, that’s messed up.”
“I told you it’s just a damn goa …” Mike started to say, but heard the click-clack of hooves on the floors outside the computer room.
Dropping the wires, Mike looked out the door to see a third goat standing in the doorway, watching him closely. Quickly looking at the windows, he could see that two more goats had joined the first ones, four in all looking in at him.
“Get out of here!” he barked, trying to shoo the goat in the doorway.
“That goat ain’t listening dude …” Gary was cut off by more clacking and another goat joined the first in the doorway.
“Screw this!” Gary yelled and bolted for the door.
Mike jumped up and followed him. The goats moved out of the way for them and the two young men darted into the front room. Not stopping to count the room full of goats that were surrounding them, they charged through the front door, but stopped on the porch.
The entire front yard was full of goats … and standing by their car was the woman.
“I see you’ve met my kids,” she snickered.
Mike grinned. She was just a thin woman with a bunch of goats. He had seen the loom in their front room, she made her own yarn and knitted sweaters and hats. She was harmless.
“What are you gonna do?” Mike laughed, “Send your goats after us?”
The woman smiled and adjusted the glasses on her nose, “I don’t need my goats.”
“Oh really?” Mike’s voice faltered slightly, “Are you going to knit us sweaters until we die of old age?”
Looking into their car, she responded, “Oh, I don’t need to wait for age to kill you.”
She turned back to the young men and the goats parted like the pages of a book as someone opens it, “No, my mind is far deadlier,” she sneered.
* * *
Jason pulled into the driveway and honked his horn. Their two goats had gotten out again. After gathering them back up, he ushered the goats back into their pen and went inside.
“Char!” he yelled, “We should call the sheriff. I saw a car wreck down the road as I pulled in.”
Charlene looked up from her knitting, “I bet the goats got out on the road again and they swerved to miss them.”
“Well, both of them were out,” Jason acknowledged while dialing the sheriff on his phone. “That’s the second time this week they caused a wreck.”
Charlene went back to her knitting, “Kids will be kids.”
Tomorrow I’ll be introducing everyone to my longest running character. The one character I’ve never had a story for; Overkill.